HINAMATSURI - CHILDREN'S FESTIVAL
Posted by MASAYO YASUKI
HINAMATSURI - CHILDREN'S FESTIVAL
On the 3rd of March in Japan, we celebrate and pray for young girls' growth and happiness. (boy's day is 5th May)
There are sets of dolls of emperor and empress, three court ladies, musicians and ministers to celebrate the festivals.
When I was little, my parents used to set up and display the 9 levels of red shelves with those dolls. It takes almost a half day to set it up for about 1 week.
When my children were younger we were going to bring those Japanese traditional dolls into Australia and celebrate the day and share the Japanese tradition with them. But they are no longer little and I missed the opportunity.
To me it is more for myself as a parent as I have to learn how to grow as well.
My daughter is now 16 and is making her own decisions. She listens to her friends more than my suggestions. She is going to take a car license test soon and will eventually go further away from us. To be honest, I am struggling to celebrate their growth. In my deep mind, I don't want them to grow any more and want to hold them forever. I know I shouldn't say it, but it's true.
I have to learn how to stop holding her and learn to let her go.
It's a strange feeling thinking about the relationship between myself and my children. I think this is going to be my challenge over the next few years.
How did you deal with this emotion?
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Heather On
I try to smile for their strong confidence and remember they are still growing. Letting go is so much easier said than done for us parents. We have to give them the freedom to fly or fail. They know we will always be there to catch them, if they fall. I want to say that my daughter is now 22, and this past year she has come back to me. When she was 16, she was thinking her bf and peers knew better, and I didn’t. At 19, she married during her first year of college. They moved away, but soon, she had big issues that needed big advice solutions. She may not have totally take my advice, however,I am so thankful and blessed that she trusted me with her fragility and confided in her mom. I think they realize we love them the best and without conditions. A different example is my 20 year old son. He and I had a terrible amount of disagreements during his adolescent years. Lately, he has reflected on those times and came to apologize and be respectful. I cried. It is cleansing.